I absolutely love being a small-group leader. Despite the intense frustrations I feel at times, and the constant work to ‘feed the mill’ as it were, I love it. Why? Because when I am designing lessons, or sharing the material with my group, I feel like God is working through me; Like I am fulfilling my part in the great plan, whatever that might be. There is something very satisfying about knowing that you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. Do I think this is my entire purpose in life? Heaven forbid. Do I think God could find someone better than me to do this? Probably. But it gives me pleasure. And I know I am good at it.
So is this pride? I hope not.
C.S. Lewis talks in Screwtape Letters about humility (or lack of pride) being a sense of forgetfulness. Not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. The example he gives is of a man designing a cathedral, and knowing it is the best cathedral in the world, and taking pleasure in it’s beauty, just as if someone else had designed it. In essence, being able to be glad that the cathedral is beautiful, and God is glorified through it, without taking pride in the fact that he designed, it.
For me this equates to being able to design lessons for my small group, or for any other group for that matter, and to be as happy with the lesson as if someone else had designed it.
Part of the joy I feel as a small-group leader is the joy of sharing old truths in a new way; of seeing people grow in their faith, and grow closer to God; in seeing real fellowship being formed. To know that this is happening is awesome, regardless of who does it. When I decided to take up the job of being a cell leader again, I had to do some real soul-searching to see why I wanted to do it. Was it pride, or purpose. I came to realise that God had really laid the members of my group on my heart, and given me a passion for walking alongside them.
But I love the fact the He lets me be part of it. It gives me a purpose, which gives me joy. It comes back, I suppose, to the post I did recently about having God’s heart, so he can break it for you in certain areas.
I love that he is prepared to let me have some of the fun, while he does all the hard work.
How cool is that?