…with fronds like these, who needs anemones?

Yeah, it’s a clownfish thing.  Deal with it.

The Christian Zombie Killers Handbook

Ben Forman was just an ordinary guy, a young professional starting his first job and falling in love with his girlfriend. Living in the outskirts of a southern city, he didn’t think the zombie activity so common in the major cities would hit so close to home. But it was becoming clear that the mysterious infection reanimating the deceased was a growing epidemic across the country. The question was, would he stay alive or become the undead?

I was a little unsure of what this book would be, and it seems like the book was equally confused.  The premise is sound, and promising – Our sinful nature is like an undead Zombie which will devour us if we don’t learn to kill it. 

It is written as a parallel text; with each chapter of the fictional story being followed by a chapter of theology from the author about our sinful nature.  The writing style was bad, but I will deal with that elsewhere.

The fictional account of the Zombie hunting is interspersed with theology that is obviously supposed to explain what is going on in the fiction.  The link is tenuous on occasion, and downright confusing at times.  There is a section where the fiction talks about the creation of the ZTF (Zombie Task Force) and how they are committed to working in teams and eradicating the last trace of infection.  This is fine and well, especially where he says in the theology section how we are all “part of the ZTF”.  But I don’t know what that means when he goes on to tell us how if one of the ZTF agents is bitten, his partner’s job is to shoot him in the head before he can turn into a zombie.  I think we might be taking Christian Accountability Partners a little too seriously here?

The theology was bland, and I found myself wanting to skip it to get to the action.  Unfortunately there was very little of that either.

It tried to be too many things, and ended up doing neither particularly well.

Like a Zomie, it was neither truly alive, nor truly dead  -  It just stank.

I have a wife, and…I protect her.

My wife is a strong woman, probably stronger than me.  She gives me strength, and she is more than capable of looking after herself.  However, if anyone talks ill about her in my presence…

there will be a reckoning!

(Just saying.)

I love her, and I am very jealous of her.  And people know that.  They know that I will defend her if they attack her, or try to break her down.  It might be their democratic right in an open and free society with freedom of speech to verbally abuse my wife, and take her name in vain.  But they don’t.  Because they respect my decision, and they respect the fact that I will fight for her.

So why do we sit back and let people say things about God in our presence without responding?  Why do we let people take his name in vain in our presence?  We say it is because we don’t want to push our faith on them, and they have rights as well.

Agreed, but do we take His name and reputation as seriously as our wife’s?  Of course He can defend himself better than we can, and He does not need us to stand up for him.

But what does it say when we do not?

What would it say about our wife if we sat in a group of people who made fun of her and did nothing?  What would it say about our relationship with her?

I have a wife, and… I value what she values.

When something makes her happy, it gives me joy.  When something makes her sad, I grieve as well.

What is important to her is important to me.  We share a heart for things, and I want to be part of her passions.

What does God care about and value?

• Redemption of his people.
• Finding all his children.

Paul says (thanks to The Message)

The thing that has me so upset is that I care about you so much—this is the passion of God burning inside me! I promised your hand in marriage to Christ, presented you as a pure virgin to her husband. And now I'm afraid that exactly as the Snake seduced Eve with his smooth patter, you are being lured away from the simple purity of your love for Christ.

(2 Corinthians 11:2-3)

God is all about redeeming his people and bringing them back to a relationship with Him.  Shouldn’t we be as well?