Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I’m made of money!


2968331785_d266bb75e5I am a millionaire.  Again.

Sometime in July I received an e-mail at my Sharkbait address.  You know, sharkbait@webmail.co.za Now I maintain this account solely for the purpose of sending anonymous e-mails to my blogging buddies, so getting an e-mail is always a surprise.  Especially when it tells me that I just won the Coca Cola Lottery, worth millions of “Great Britain Pound stirlings”.  It seems that they wanted me to believe that my e-mail address had been randomly added to a lottery ticket, and that my number was drawn.  You lucky fish. 

Possible I suppose, except that I am well versed in the ways of Advance-Cash Frauds.  (Also knows as 419 Scams, after the Section of the Nigerian Penal Code dealing with this kind of fraud.)  So my fishy senses went into overload.  Their case was not helped by the fact that I had to respond directly to the manager of Coca-Cola international, on his yahoo.com.hk account.  I mean, seriously!  How stupid do these people think I am.  

fish-moneyFor those of you not familiar with this sort of fraud, they dangle money in front of you, hoping that you will be so enticed that you will expend great quantities of your own cash in order to claim it.  There would be “service charges” and “collection amounts” all of which would be reclaimable once I received my “One Million Pound stirlings”. 

So I ignored them as always.  But the one I got last night was priceless.

Another e-mail, also addressed to sharkbait@webmail.co.za ostensibly from a barristers chamber in London.  (Do barristers handle estates?  I thought it was solicitors.) I have highlighted the best bits.

Attention: On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the Estate of Late Engr.Jürge Krügger.I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter was returned undelivered. I wish to notify you that late Engr.Jürge Krügger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars ($30,100.000.00USD) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL. This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good. Engr. Jürge Krügger until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers. According to him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in our society. Please if I reach you as I am hopeful,endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope to hear from you in no distant time.

Note: You are advice to contact me with my personal email below:

Email: richard-gilbert1@live.com

Yours in Service, BARRISTER RICHARD GILBERT. PRINCIPAL PARTNERS: Barrister Aidan Walsh Esq. Markus Wolfgang, Mr.John Marvey Esq, Mr.Jerry Smith Esq.


Do these people know that I’m a stuffed fish?  I feel like writing back to ask them how I am supposed to sign for the money, as my fins are too weak to hold a pen.

I have decided that I am going to contact the Coca Cola head office, through the address on the letter,and ask them to get in touch with my lawyer, Richard Gilbert, to negotiate the transfer of my winnings.  I wonder how long they will write back and forth, and who will end up scamming whom?


  1. I've been a millionaire several times over- but really, what would I do with all that money? I would be tempted to hoard chocolate and purchase way too many stilettos so I don't answer them either.

  2. You are one totally cool and smart fish! (Especially since you maintain a blog with those fins.)

    And to think I was once uncertain if fish who die can go to heaven. ;D

  3. I delete those as soon as i see them, or let them languish in my spam folder.

  4. I get those all the time!! So annoying! I don't know how anyone could fall for those but somebody must!

  5. They must have lots of winners in that Coca Cola lottery. I WON TOO! {laughing hysterically}

    I stopped over from Lynette's blog to see what all the splashing around was about. Nice to meet you. Stop by Pooh's Corner sometime to say hello. {since you are rich with lottery money like me, you must have tons of spare time}


  6. Hoo ha ha! Forgot.....you asked us to say that too.

  7. Ok, now I'm becoming a pest.

    I had to mention. I had a little old lady {or so it seemed} tell me that her husband who had died left millions of dollars in a bank account and she wanted ME to have it. So I could donate it to worth churches, etc. The only way to get it to me was with my account information.

    Ok lady, {or whoever you are} I was born on a Friday, but not last Friday.

    So I decided to have a little fun & ask her why she wouldn't just use the money for a good cause herself....after all, it was HER husbands money. I am sure she could find plenty of people to donate money to herself.

    Then she became more aggressive........... all I need is your information.

    Sorry little old lady......... I will stay poor. LOL


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